Games people play and questions about sexuality

Back from holiday and a surprise call ~ Before May Mattered 

games people play
The games people play

6/9/97

Feeling good! The holiday was great apart from some creepy middle aged guy who was part of our group. He was so hung up on me he couldn't stop looking and trying to talk to me. It was very embarrassing as his wife was with him and perfectly lovely.


Anyway that is not what I want to be writing about. I went on holiday to try and get Al out of my system. A change of scenery. The truth is I was still thinking about him far too much.

What happened when I returned amazed me. On Saturday afternoon I couldn't resist calling his mobile. I was so certain that the blank calls I had had a few weeks before my holiday were from him. The games people play. Well his mobile rang. It was on. He answered! I immediately put it down. Five minutes later the same thing happened in reverse. I thought this is so silly one of us has to give up. An hour later I was just about to cave in and call him and actually speak, when the phone rang again. I said,

“Hello,” and my number.

There was a pause and then,

“May, its Al.”

I nearly fell of the chair with shock. But something had to give and if he wasn't interested why play the games?

“I just rang to say hi really,” his camp voice resonating in my ear.

“I am glad you did.” I said wanting to reassure him.

We began talking as if we did that every day. With ease, but the butterflies began to a flutter in my heart and stomach. He had guts to call and I admired that.

After chatting for about forty minutes he asked what was I doing over the weekend.

I replied, “not much.”

I really didn't have any set plans.

“Do you fancy going for a beer at 8 ish this evening?”

Did I – Did I - oh my god how long had I waited to hear that.

The bell sounded just after eight. I was dreading the moment he walked through the door. How would we both greet each other? What would we say? It was more than fine. He kissed me lightly on the lips in his own camp way.

We took a walk to the local pub. It was extremely quiet in there for a Saturday night. Sitting with our drinks we were both remarkably relaxed. Very surprising really and no mention of the slapping his face incident. He was quite touchy, complimented me in that casual way he has. I had actually made sure I wasn't very dressed up. Not wanting to be seen as trying too hard. But even though I only had a slight bit of make up on, I was wearing a crop top with my tight brown cords and of course I was brown as a berry from the holiday sun.

He was drinking Guinness and he remembered I like the froth from the top. He put his finger in it and bought it to my lips for me to lick it off. That was hot, but I participated apprehensively. Every so often I would catch him looking at me, staring really. So difficult to understand him.

He has had his hair cut and looks even more geeky than previously. But I find him so sexy.

games people play
Al looked a bit like this with glasses


I didn't want to spoil the atmosphere and bring the incident up. I was waiting thinking he may venture there. When he was messing around, he hit my arm accidentally and apologised and then said,

“Talking about hitting people...”

I asked, “Is that what you want – to talk about it?”

He replied that it was fine to, and I should ask him anything I wanted.

Seeing this as an open door I apologised for what had happened but explained that he had probably realised that I questioned his sexuality. He said that a lot of other people also wondered. To that I replied,

“Well I don't think you are heterosexual.”

He replied,

“If that's a question, the answer is yes I am heterosexual. I have slept with one man when I was young, and it was a mistake.”

I indicated that I wasn't sure if I could believe it was only the one and that he preferred women.
He told me he was being honest with me and that was all he could do. He went on to say that if people question his sexuality it was their problem not his as he was sure of it, so he didn't care what they thought. I jumped on that and accused him of not caring about my thoughts and feelings. He immediately said I was now confusing the issue, and just because he didn't care what people thought of him, didn't mean that he didn't care about me!

I wanted to ask him about the anal fixation but didn't want to pressurise him after we had just had such a deep conversation. But I did ask him about the amount of women he may have slept with and he said he didn't know.

Not sure what to think but decided I would have to believe him for the moment and we were getting on so damn well. I have known other men who had an early gay experience and then settled with women. He mentioned that he thought we had a lot in common. I asked him if that's why he phoned today. He said it was and that he just wanted to see me. I made a side comment regarding the games people play - telephone. He smiled and replied that he didn't play games. But as he looked me in the eyes – we both knew. I smiled and mentioned that I wouldn't put up with all this aggro from everyone, but also thought we were compatible in many ways. Which was why I persevered where he was concerned.

I continued by telling him that I had remembered him paying me the compliment of saying he had never met anyone like me before. I then told him I had never met anyone like him, which was why I was there.. The niceties continued by him telling me that I intrigued him.

Just as we were leaving I bumped into Ant – was so good to see him, has been a while. We are going for a drink next week – will be fun.

Al and I had a giggle going back to mine – he gave me a piggy back.

Games people play ~ To be cont.

Why not catch up with my main blog
 

Comments

Nero Black said…
Well well well... he's NOT gay, he says? Hmmmm, pass the popcorn, this is getting interesting!

As an aside:
"The holiday was great apart from some creepy middle aged guy who was part of our group. He was so hung up on me he couldn't stop looking and trying to talk to me. It was very embarrassing as his wife was with him and perfectly lovely."

That was me, via my Time Machine! :-)
May More said…
lol - i was young anyone who was over 30 was middle aged ;-)
Michael Samadhi said…
Very much enjoy your writing, going to have to make more time to read... ;)
May More said…
thank you Michael - as you may have realised I don't get to spend too much time on this blog - my other one is the attention seeker ;-) But I do like writing this all down - my old diaries are a never ending source of amusement to me - if i knew then(20yrs ago) what i know now...